I'd like to start by issuing an apology to lloret de Mar, Malgrat de Mar and Callella... In fact I'm sorry to Spain in general, but to these three beautiful coastal towns I issue a sincere apology for the rowdy rabble of Brits that were ejected from our transfer coach; ready to bring madness and mayhem befitting the sun,sea,sex and sangria reputation of the Costas. Seriously? When did the Costa brava turn into Ibiza on steroids, or any other drug that is openly sold along 'the strip'.
The two 20 something fellas behind us were eagerly anticipating arrival at their hotel and their first cerveza of the trip and their goal of 'three a day, with no limits' . I thought to myself that they must be on an All Inclusive package.
Then there were 'alternative couple', sitting adjacent to the young fellas, who were so loud the whole coach had intimate knowledge of their plans to save as much money for drugs as possible by sleeping all day and sharing a medium sized chips from Mac Donald's (clearly on a room only package). He had vowed, every year, to change his usual drug habits just for the week away but thought 'it's so cheap and easily available... It's a no brainer'. I think that particular phrase is quite apt In this scenario.
This couple being a little 'alternative' would be the kind I would usually gravitate towards and be happy to engage with. By alternative I am referring to the pink dreadlocks, facial piercings, tattoos and heavy metal jewellery. He wore all black, suggesting an affinity with the emo or goth subculture, but his conversation was decidedly too upbeat (and loud) for my liking.
The coach is now silent with the exception of 'alternative couple' as they get louder and louder. The strongest of swear words roll off their tongue with the same ease I might use the words 'say no to brexit' and the same frequency I might say 'tickets, passport,money' in the hour before leaving the house on a flight day. Not only were they loud and foul mouthed, their banter was an inane recollection of holidays passed, intermingled with deriding friends back home and a splattering of work avoidance schemes.
We didn't start to drop people off until at least an hour had passed. There was a sense that the whole coach held their breath in anticipation every time the coach pulled to a stop .... Some of us were thinking 'it's not my stop, please let them get off now', all the time hoping that they wouldn't be in the same resort let alone the same hotel. We were pretty certain that they wouldn't be staying in sleepy Tossa unless they had really got their tourist information wrong. I'm pretty sure the only drugs available are those sold openly in the farmacia.
About 4 stops passed before they got off and the rest of us could breathe a sigh of relief, the noise levels suddenly increased as normal holiday chatter returned. One of the two young lads behind turned to his friend and said 'I know I said I wouldn't have a limit but I've changed my mind...She was definitely over my limits,'.